


Damage Control

by Harukawa



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukawa/pseuds/Harukawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Love" was a lot more dangerous than either of them had realised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“...Are you going to bed, Lusa?” He’s halfway through pulling his shirt off over his head when he hears a familiar voice address him from his doorway, and he tosses the clothing onto the floor before finally glancing over at his visitor. It’s Esper asking him, of course. It’s always Esper.  


“Yeah. Gettin’ ready to.” He sits down heavily on his bed, patting the space next to him. “C’mon. Y’r tired too, ain’t ya?” Esper nods once, quietly closing the open door behind him before accepting the offer and carefully sitting next to him. Lusa puts one hand on top of Esper’s head, affectionately ruffling the other’s hair. Esper leans into his touch, humming softly as Lusa’s fingers gently comb through his hair.  


It was a nightly ritual of theirs by now. Esper would always show up just before he went to bed (and how Esper always knew exactly when that was, he’d never know), and he’d always extend an invitation for the other to stay the night. It seemed to help Esper, having someone there with him at night, so who was he to turn the boy away? They both needed all the help they could get.

He withdraws his hand a few moments later, covering his mouth with it as he yawns. “...Mm. Dunno about you, but ‘M tired.” He gives Esper one last pat on the head before yawning again, moving himself onto the far side of the bed and flopping down. “Get some sleep, Esper.” he mumbles, pulling the blankets up and over himself before letting his eyes fall closed.

“...Okay.” There’s a brief shuffling, and he can feel Esper’s back press up against his own once the other has finally situated himself. “Good night, Lusa.”  


“...G’night, Esper.”  


\------------

It’s dark when he wakes back up, a quick glance at the window telling him that it was still far too late into the night to even consider getting out of bed. Yet somehow he feels like he needs to be awake right now, an odd, almost _urgent_ feeling gnawing at him as he stubbornly squeezes his eyes shut once more.

That’s when he hears it, _feels_ it. The quiet, muffled sound of someone crying; the slight shake of the mattress with every unsteady breath his bedmate takes. He sits up now, eyes scanning the darkness until he manages to make out Esper’s form beside him, hunched over and trembling. “...Esper?” He doesn’t receive a response, can only just make out the other’s hands reaching up to grab fistfuls of messy silver hair as the man chokes back another sob. “...Hey. It’s a’ight, nothin’s gonna...” He reaches one hand out, gently touching Esper’s shoulder.

It’s a mistake.

Esper whirls on him the instant he makes contact, slapping his hand away and _glaring_ at him (and it’s dark, but even in this darkness he can tell that Esper’s not himself right now, because his eyes... Esper’s eyes are that deep, dangerous  _black;_ venomous purple rings glowing from within the abyss). A growl escapes through Esper’s lips, low and threatening.

“...Esper.” He holds both his hands up where Esper can see them. “It’s jus’ me, Esper.” He does his best to remain calm when Esper crawls closer to him (fluid and terrifying, like an animal cornering its prey), tries to keep his breathing steady.  


“...Not right.” Esper mumbles, shaking his head. There’s no sign that Esper recognises him, even though the man is staring right at him (and what had he expected? Esper never knew him when he was like this, never knew _anyone_ ).  “...It’s not right.” One twitching hand reaches out, placing itself on his shoulder. “It’s not right it’s not right it’s not right it’s...” Esper mumbles the words like some sort of mantra, his grip on Lusa’s shoulder tightening, loosening, tightening again with each iteration, nails digging deep into skin.   


“...What’s not right, Esper?” It’s best to keep Esper talking, he knows that much from experience. “Tell me what it is. I’ll fix it.”  


“...Fix it.” Esper latches onto that phrase, eyes widening. “Fix it.” The hold on his shoulder is released, both of Esper’s hands reaching up to grab at his own head, fingers tangling themselves in messy locks of hair. “Fix it... Fix it... That’s right. I’m supposed to... I’m supposed to fix it.” Esper’s hands fall to his sides, gaze settling firmly on Lusa. “...I have to fix it. I have to fix it. I _have_ to.”  


“Esper--” He doesn’t get a chance to finish. Esper pounces, knocking him onto his back as slender fingers wrap themselves around his throat, only just allowing him to still draw breath. “E-Esper...”

“Things are wrong. Everything is wrong.” Esper’s grip grows ever tighter with each sentence, a maniacal edge creeping into his tone. “Wrong wrong wrong _wrong wrong wrong **wrong.** ” _Tighter and tighter and tighter still, until he can’t breathe, until his vision starts to blur. He can hear Esper laughing, a sound that would strike fear into anyone’s heart (and his was no exception, was it?). He can’t bring himself to fight back, can’t bring himself to raise a finger against the man despite the danger (and some small part of him hopes that maybe, this time, Esper will remember him).  


“I’m going to fix things. I’m going to fix _everything._ I’ll get it right this time. I’ll get it right I’ll get it right I’ll get it right, I promise I will, I _promise.”_ The pressure on his throat is suddenly released, and he sucks in a desperate breath of air, struggling to fight against the disorienting feeling flooding through him as his body attempts to recover. “...I’ll get it right this time.” He only just makes out the soft purple glow surrounding Esper’s hand, doesn’t have enough time to react. “...I just have to erase the _mistakes_ first.” 

A manic grin, and then everything erupts into pain as Esper’s hand phases right through his side.  


He bites down hard on his own tongue to keep from crying out in pain as Esper tears through his insides (because that won’t help, that never helps, only makes things worse), black spots erupting across his vision as he struggles with himself (struggles with the _pain_ ). He only just manages to grab hold of Esper’s arm, ripping the other’s hand out of himself before throwing him down onto his back. He almost can’t manage to sit up, _forces_ himself to pin Esper down, straddling the man’s waist and pinning his arms at his sides.

“Esper, look at me.” His voice is raw, and it hurts just to speak.  


“Let _go_ of me!” Esper snarls in response, writhing underneath him in a desperate bid to escape. “Let go let go let go let _go!”_  


_“_ Not ‘till y’  _look_ at me.” he repeats. “Y’ _know_ me, Esper. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” He’s forced to pause, wincing his wound throbs, as he _feels_ blood spurting out of his wound (and he wouldn’t last at this rate, he knows it). “I jus’ wanna help ya, Esper. ... _Please_ let me.”  


Esper finally does look at him now, and something in his expression changes (though for some reason, he doesn’t think it’s for the better). “...Let go of me.” Esper repeats, though there’s no more bite to his words. “Let go, let go, let... I just wanted to...”

Lusa finally complies, freeing Esper’s arms and climbing off the man. His vision wavers once more, and he prays that he stays concious long enough to resolve this. “...It’s okay, Esper. Y’r okay.”

“...I just wanted to... I wanted to...” Esper’s voice degrades into a broken mumble, and Lusa isn’t sure if he’s speaking words or nonsense now. Maybe it was both.  


“It’s okay.” He pulls Esper towards him, embraces him, once hand holding onto him while the other reaches up to gently pet his hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Y’r okay now. I’m right here. It’s okay.” Esper buries his face into his shoulder, nonsensical mumblings converting to broken sobs (and that sound hurts him more than the wounds ever could).  


“...I’m sorry, Esper.” he mumbles, pressing a kiss against the top of Esper’s head. “I’m so sorry.” He keeps petting the other, keeps mumbling reassurances and never once lets go of him. It isn’t until Esper finally cries himself back to sleep that he allows himself to collapse, praying that he lives through the night before his vision fades to black.  



	2. Chapter 2

“...Esper, it’s _four in the morning_.” Mastermind is quite obviously anything but happy about having been woken up this early, arms crossed and voice angry as he stands in his doorway and glares at Esper. “You’d better have a--” A pause, and a vague look of disgust crosses the man’s face. “...You’re covered in blood. What have you been--”  


“I need your help.” he interrupts. He doesn’t have time for explanations right now, doesn’t have time to be standing here _talking_ right now.  


Mastermind blinks, raising one eyebrow. “...I’m listening.”

“Lusa. I need you to help Lusa.”

“...That’s his blood, then?” Mastermind makes a thoughtful humming noise. “...Well. I _could_ help you out, of course... But...” A grin. “...What’s in it for me?”  


“You..!” Esper growls, lunging forward and grabbing onto the front of Mastermind’s shirt. One hand glows with an erratic purple energy, and he brings it dangerously close to Mastermind’s face.   


“Ah, ah. I wouldn’t be making threats if I were you.” The smile remains fixed in place. “I’m not exactly going to be able to _help_ if you maim me beforehand, am I?”  


Esper blinks, reconsidering his course of action. He snarls in frustration before letting go of Mastermind, lowering his arms to his sides and balling his hands into tight fists. “...Please.” His voice is small, quiet, _scared._ He hates it. _“_...Please help Lusa. I’ll...” He takes a deep breath. “...I’ll do whatever you want. Just fix him.”

The grin on Mastermind’s face only grows wider. “...You have a deal.”

\------------

Hours. It’s been hours since Mastermind started patching up Lusa. Hours and the Psyker still hasn’t woken up. Esper hadn’t stuck around to watch, had retreated to the hallway outside of Mastermind’s lab, curling himself up in a ball. The bright lights hurt his eyes, the smell of blood ( _Lusa’s_ blood) made him feel sick. He can’t prevent himself from trembling as he waits for what feels like an eternity, endlessly worrying.

His mind repeats the conversation he’d had with Mastermind earlier over and over again.

‘ _Esper... What did you do to him?’_  


_‘I didn’t do anything. He was like that when I woke up.’  
_

_‘...And you honestly believe that you had nothing to do with it?’  
_

_‘I didn’t. I didn’t do it. I didn’t hurt him, I wouldn’t...’  
_

_‘...Hm. Do you really believe that?’  
_

He groans in frustration, clutching at his head as he desperately tries to remember something, _anything_ from last night that would explain exactly what had happened. There was nothing. Just their usual routine. Lusa had gone to sleep first, he could remember hearing the usual snoring (irritating at first, but at this point almost soothing), could remember laying down himself, his own back pressed against Lusa’s. Then.. nothing. Nothing until he’d woken up hours earlier to the both of them covered in Lusa’s blood.

Was that right? Was that really it?  
 **(** _No. No that’s not right that’s not right. I’d wake up. If anything happened I’d wake up, I know I would. Something’s missing. Something’s missing something’s missing something I don’t remember something I **can’t** remember why can’t I remember what happened why can’t I remember why can’t I remember what did I--_ **)**

He’s jolted out of his frenzied thoughts when he feels a slight tap on his shoulder, quickly looking up to find the source. He relaxes once he realises it’s only one of Mastermind’s dynamos, his gaze drifting to the man himself. 

“Thought you’d want to know... He’s finally awake.” Esper quickly scrambles to his feet, already starting to dash off before Mastermind grabs his wrist to stop him. “...Is it a good idea for you to be around him?”  


“What are you...” He violently pulls himself out of Mastermind’s grip. “It’s _fine._ I _told_ you I didn’t do anything. I’m not about to...” **(** _It’s fine. It’s fine It’s fine It’s fine It’s fine_ **)** If he repeats the thought enough, maybe he’ll just start to believe it.  


“Mmm. Well, it’s no concern of mine, I suppose.” He waves a dismissive hand. “Go see him, by all means. I’d advise being _careful_ with him, however. His condition is still far from ideal.” A pause. “Ah, and... Esper? Don’t forget that deal of ours. You _owe_ me.”  


“...I know.” He doesn’t spare any further words, turning away from the other and rushing off. He pauses once he reaches the door to the room Lusa is being kept in, hit by a sudden wave of anxiety. **(** _...I don’t know what happened. What if he’s mad, what if he hates me, what if he..._ **)** He shakes his head, forces himself to pull the door open. “...Lusa?”  


“Esper. There ya are.” Lusa’s voice doesn’t sound quite right. It’s too quiet, too hoarse, not energetic enough. It worries him. He stands awkwardly at the door for a few moments, unsure if he should approach or not. Lusa ends up deciding for him. “...Hey. C’mere.” Lusa motions him over, and he quietly obliges, closing the door behind him before moving closer and gingerly perching on the very edge of the bed.  


Lusa looks awful, he realises. Dark, purple bruises form a ring around his neck, his complexion far too pale, eyes tired. **(** _Did I... do that..?_ **)** Lusa struggles to sit up for a moment, and Esper briefly panics, darting forward and helping him as carefully as he can. “...Should you be moving right now..?”

“I’ll be fine.” Lusa mumbles in response. “I’ve had worse’n this.” A silence falls over them, and he averts his eyes, staring at the ground. “...Are you okay, Esper?”  


“I...” **(** _You look like that and you’re asking me if I’m okay. You nearly **died** and you’re asking **me** if **I’m** okay. Why?_ **)** “...Yes. I’m fine.”  


“Y’ve never been good at lyin’.”  


“I...” He takes a deep breath. “What... What happened, Lusa?” He doesn’t wait for the other to respond. “...Did I...” He reaches both hands out, gently placing them against the deep bruises on Lusa’s neck. “...Did I do that?” His hands drop as he averts his gaze once more.

“...Y’ don’t remember.” It’s not a question. Lusa sighs, grabbing one of his hands and holding onto it. “No point in lyin’ t’ ya about it, is there? ...Yeah. Y’ did.” His eyes widen, and he attempts to pull back. “Don’t run off on me.” Lusa’s grip on him tightens. “I ain’t mad at ya. I don’t... I don’t blame you.”  


“You don’t..?” **(** _Why wouldn’t you blame me? I’m the one that did it. I did that to you I almost killed you and I can’t even remember it why would you why can’t I--_ **)**  


“Esper. Calm down.” Lusa grabs his other hand now, and he belatedly realises that both his hands are trembling.  


“How am I supposed to..?!” He nods towards Lusa side, covered in bandages. “Did I do that, too?”  


“...Yeah.” A sigh. “Y’ didn’t mean to, Esper. Y’ didn’t even know it was me.”

“...Is that supposed to make it any better?!” He tries to pull away once more, Lusa still refusing to let go of him. He growls in frustration. “I did that to you, but... I’m not hurt. Why... Why didn’t you fight back?” **(** _Why didn’t you **kill** me? I know you could have. I hurt you I tried to kill you you didn’t even do anything why wouldn’t you do something if someone tries to hurt you you hurt them **back**_ **)**  


“This... isn’t th’ first time this’s happened, Esper.” **(** _Don’t say that. Don’t tell me that._ **)** “Ya still have nightmares, less often than y’ used t’, I think, but... Sometimes ya... don’t really wake up from ‘em. Y’r up n’ movin’ but y’r mind’s somewhere else. Like some awful version a’ sleepwalkin’, I guess.” Lusa shrugs. “Sometimes ya jus’ talk while y’r like that, sometimes it’s worse. I us’ally jus’ talk ya down n’ that’s that, but sometimes...” 

Lusa’s voice grows quieter, and he can only just make out the words. “...Y’ asked why I didn’t fight back.” Lusa moves their hands so that their palms are pressed against each other’s, lacing their fingers together. “Y’r in enough pain already, Esper. I ain’t about t’ make that worse.”  


He’s not sure how to respond to that, simply stares at their hands in silence while he repeats those words in his mind. **(** _I don’t get it. He’s being so **nice** to me I don’t get it I don’t get it I don’t get **him.** But..._ **)** “...I’m sorry.”

“Y’ don’t need t’ be.”  


“I do. ...You’re gonna be okay, right, Lusa?”

Lusa nods in response, managing a small smile. “Yeah. Mastermind patched me up pretty well.” A pause, followed by a brief look of confusion. “...How’d y’ even get him t’ help out? That’s kinda impressive.”

“...Don’t worry about it.” Lusa gives him an odd look, but doesn’t press the matter any further. “...You should sleep, Lusa. You’ll recover faster.” He starts to stand.  


“Y’ gonna leave me all alone?”  


“Do you... _want_ me to stay?” A part of him (by no means small) wants the answer to be “yes”, even if he’s not quite sure _why_ (because hadn’t he just learned how dangerous that was? yet he still couldn’t help but want to be around...) _._  


 _“_...Yeah.” Lusa nods once. “Used t’ havin’ y’ around, y’know?” Esper doesn’t say anything further, only hums in response. He lets go of one of Lusa’s hands, keeping a tight hold on the other one as he rearranges himself to curl up against the man’s uninjured side.  


“...Thank you, Lusa.”  


“F’r what?”  


**(** _For putting up with this. For trying to help me. For actually wanting someone like me around._ **)**

“...I don’t know. Just... thank you.”  



End file.
